Sample Funny Resignation Letters You Don't Want to Send
First Funny Resignation Letter Example
Dear Mr. Boss,
I'm thrilled to inform you that I'm resigning. Finally, I am free!
I have been waiting for what seems like forever to inform you that I will no longer be working under your abusive-boss thumb. I’ve hated working for you and the company since the first day I was hired. I don’t like the work, I don’t like my fellow employees, and I don’t like you.
I am tendering my resignation effective immediately and I’m heading for the open road. I bought a Harley and a leather jacket and my girlfriend, Denise, is coming along.
I know you would like me to help you with a transition, but I won’t. Why? Because I don't want to. Have fun figuring out the files on my computer. I couldn’t figure them out most of the time.
Oh, speaking of computers, you’ll need to figure out the passwords to all our online accounts, vendors, and resources. I forgot to keep a list of them, so have fun with that.
I’m sure you’d like to have a going away party for me. However, I’m not interested in the stale cookies and watered down punch that reminds me of skunk juice from my camp days.
Don’t worry about writing me a reference, even though I’m sure you’d be glad to recommend my work and stellar corporate loyalty attitude. I don’t need or want a reference from you because I won’t need a reference where I am. Hello, Tahiti! So, consider our bridges burned.
Happy To Be Gone
Second Funny Resignation Letter Example
I am writing to inform you of my resignation. My last day was last Thursday. Since then, I've been using company time and resources to find a better job. I've also been using your corporate server to find a new job. I networked your IT system to mine. Unfortunately I have no spyware or anti-virus protection and, consequently, may have infected your company-wide system.
Thankfully, by making use of your extensive database I found a great new employer who offered me a job yesterday, and I start Monday (with a promotion and salary increase). My new employer is your No. 1 competitor and I'll be bringing all my accounts and significant contacts with me.
Too bad I never signed the noncompete agreement.
Resignation Articles and Advice
The funny resignation letters above are intended for humorous purposes only. If you're not crazy about your job, your boss, or the company you work for, try writing your own funny resignation letter as a stress-reducer. Getting pent-up hostility off your chest is a great way to decompress.