The Best Ways to Help Your Child Find a Job
As a parent, you can play a useful role in helping your child search for jobs. However, be sure you don’t overstep. Over-involved parenting can be counterproductive in a job search.
In one example, the mother of a recent graduate attended a college alumni career networking event with her daughter. She came to "help" her daughter—who looked appropriately mortified—find a job.
In another example, a young man who had recently earned a PhD accepted a postdoctoral position in a city far from his hometown. He arrived to tour campus and search for housing with both parents in tow to approve of the job offer and the community.
Don't be a Helicopter Parent
Over the past few years, hiring managers have started sharing horror stories of helicopter parents who are a little too invested in their kids’ careers. Calling and tweeting at human resources representatives, foisting resumes on unsuspecting employers, even showing up to job interviews – there are no lengths to which some parents won’t go to help their children find gainful employment.
The best way to offer your assistance is not to take over their career development entirely, but to offer guidance and encouragement.
Your child’s job search is their own, not yours. And if your child is like most young people, they will need your help to be appropriately engaged in the career planning process. You can help lay the groundwork with advice and support and then encourage your child to move forward independently toward goals that they embrace.
Tips for Helping Your Son or Daughter Get Hired
The following suggestions will help you to take on a constructive role and help your child to take positive steps toward planning their career and landing a job.
1. Encourage your child to learn about careers from an early age. Discuss your role at work and the role of colleagues at your workplace. Foster curiosity about the occupational involvements of friends, other family members, and neighbors. Introduce your child to career information resources like the Occupational Outlook Handbook.
2. Investigate the services offered by your child's high school guidance or college career office. Most offices will have detailed websites outlining their services. Point out programs and resources that you think might be helpful for your son or daughter. Ask your child to set up a meeting with a career counselor early during their high school or college years so they have a chance to explore their options.
3. Teach your child how to conduct an informational interview and have them practice with you and other close contacts. These meetings will help them to explore options, hone interviewing skills, and make positive impressions that can lead to jobs and internships. Introduce them to colleagues and local professionals in roles that spark their curiosity. Help them to write their first email asking to set up an informational meeting, and critique subsequent letters until you are confident that they are representing themselves effectively. Help them to generate a list of questions to ask contacts during these interviews.
4. Encourage your son or daughter to set up job shadows through his or her guidance or career office or through your contacts or local professionals. Job shadowing experiences will help them to solidify contacts and explore work roles and work environments.
5. Emphasize the importance of gaining experience and experimenting with interests through internships and summer jobs starting during high school. Don’t fixate on money; encourage even unpaid internships to build resume fodder. It will pay off later.
6. Suggest that they formulate a draft of their resume (with your help and that of school counselors) from an early age to show them the importance of gaining experience. School activities and sports can be used to populate their document prior to accumulating formal work experience.
7. Stress the importance of career networking. Share examples of how utilizing contacts has helped you and others during job searches. Help them to organize a networking campaign by sharing your family/friend contacts and coaching them about effective ways to approach contacts. Make sure your college-age child reaches out to their career and alumni offices and asks about networking contacts in fields of interest and networking events sponsored by their college.
9. Review job/internship postings with them from their school’s databases and sites like Indeed.com. Set weekly goals for applications. Help critique and proofread their cover letters.
10. Get involved with their school’s career services office. Volunteer to help your child’s career office with networking events and career days. You will meet other parents who may be of assistance to your child in a “you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours” manner.
11. Avoid speaking to employers on your child’s behalf or accompanying your son or daughter to career events or interviews. Help to equip them with knowledge and skills and then let them fight their own battles. Assist with transportation as needed if they aren’t able to drive themselves.
12. Don’t make your adult children too comfortable with hanging out at home after graduation. Make sure they take on as much financial responsibility as possible—it will motive them to get a good job. Hold them accountable for taking productive steps like those above to seek employment while you are subsidizing them.
13. Celebrate their successful steps in the process. Parental praise can go a long way toward motivating your child to be engaged. A congratulatory trip to the ice cream parlor for a task well done won’t hurt either.
Maintain Appropriate Boundaries: Your goal is to help your child find a job, not to manage their career for them.
Start Early When Educating Your Child About Careers: Teach them about networking, resume development, and career research.
Get Your Child Involved in Their School’s Career Services: High schools and colleges usually have guidance and career development offices that can help.
Be Supportive and Encouraging: Offer help with proofreading resumes, practicing interviewing techniques, and getting to interviews.
Psychology Today. "The 3 Different Kinds of Helicopter Parents," Accessed Sept. 10, 2019.