Competency is one of my personal values. Knowing this, understanding how it’s a part of me, and believing that I must make choices that go with this value helps make me a better working mom. Let me tell you why.
Know What Your Values and Priorities Are
This means you need to take time to think about what is important to you. Write down your thoughts and then shorten them down to one to two word descriptions. Make a clean list of these values and memorize them. Print them out and put them up around your home. Make them the background of your phone so you'll see them constantly.
Understanding How Your Values and Priorities Came to Be Yours
How did they come to be? What’s the story behind them? For example, one of my values is feeling competent. Meaning if someone or something makes me feel like I don’t know what I’m doing I get very angry.
The earliest story I can remember is working as a cashier. Everyone that I worked with had a way of making me feel incompetent. Gosh, I detested that job. Since my teenage years, I’ve learned ways to support my value of competency like having self-confidence and understanding I can choose to not give people control over my choices.
When I became a working mom life became extremely frustrating. This is when I began my work on knowing my VP’s (values and priorities). It became clear that my competency was being questioned on many fronts. I struggled with making the right choices concerning motherhood and career while being sleep deprived.
Believe in Your Values and Priorities 100%
When you believe in your values and priorities whole-heartedly your life becomes less confusing and challenging. When you believe things start to click because you have a good picture of who you are. Self-confidence grows when you learn believing in your values helps you make good life choices.
My working mom struggles lessened more once I got past this step. I started to look for projects that boosted my competency. If I felt incompetent about something in my personal life I made it a priority to become competent. I gave up on doing it all by myself because that just wasn’t working out for me. There was too much incompetence.
My coach helped me integrate my work life better with my personal life. I read books, found blogs, signed up for newsletters, watched YouTube videos and discovered content-rich podcasts. I didn’t realize the plethora of information and stories available for me to learn from until I made competency a priority. I began to live according to my values. I reached out for help. I found the courage to be vulnerable because I learned that admitting I didn’t know was the right path to competency.
Live According to Your Values and Priorities
Once you believe in your values you begin living according to them. You find courage to make audacious choices based on your values and priorities. When you have to make tough decision you can use your values and priorities for strength. When you know, understand, and believe in your values it’s easier to confidently say no or be hesitant before committing to something that doesn’t feel right. When you know, understand your values and priorities you spend less time trying to figure things out.
This process is exactly what working moms need in a lifestyle that is constantly in flux. When you are asked to make many decisions in the snap of a finger, you are prepared and confident.
Having your values and priorities sorted out and part of your rock solid personal foundation gives you more time in your day for things that matter to you. You spend less time living in chaos and more time enjoying doing things the way you want to do them.