The Truth About Why Becoming a Working Mom is so Hard
And how you can start explaining why that is
Becoming a Working Mom and living this lifestyle is a challenge. Here’s why:
Before Working Motherhood You Were Different
If you suffered from the disease to please before motherhood it didn’t affect you so much (unless you had a severe case of it). The reason why is because before motherhood you had more energy and time to give, plus you were younger.
You may have thought it felt good to please others. You thought that your extra efforts were appreciated and valued. You may have felt like you were caring for others. In the end you felt… motherly. It’s hard to resist this urge because it’s in most of our DNA systems.
Then You Became a Mother...
But then something changes. You truly become a mother. You change. You don’t want to continue taking care of everyone because your new priority is taking care of your family.
The problem with this is that people are not fond of change. Although you are now a “working mom” people know you as the “old you” who helped out, was their go-to person, the dependable one. But you’ve changed. How do you transition or even begin to explain your new outlook on life?
The Answer in One Simple Truth
I don’t have the complete answer except for one simple statement: This challenge is unique for each working mom.
Each of us has a different career with different co-workers, managers, and corporate cultures to contend or abide by. Each of your children is unique with their unique needs. Your support system, hopefully including a significant other but maybe not, is different. Your home is different with different demands you feel you need to fulfill.
And most importantly YOU are beautifully unique. How you handle what life throws at you is unique. This misperceived weakness is a HUGE strength for you to audaciously capitalize on. YOU do not have to act like everyone else in the company or the other moms you see at daycare because you are unique.
The quicker you realize that this statement is your truth, that you are unique, the quicker you can find the answer to this transition challenge. The quicker you’ll be able to express this change of heart, and mind, to others so that you do not feel torn in a million directions.
Express Your Unique Explanation of What’s Happened to You to Others
What do I mean by others? Everyone at work, everyone in your family, and even your children.
If you have an infant, sure they aren’t going to understand, but you understand how you feel toward your child. If you don’t then it’s time to get extremely clear about it, yes you love your child, but there’s more isn’t there? For instance, when mommy guilt surfaces this is an opportunity for you to dive into your uniqueness, your values and priorities (your VP’s).
You can exercise your emotional intelligence by becoming aware of what you are truly feeling, why that is, and then manage it. This takes energy, time, and practice, just like the many other adjustments you’ll need to make as a working mom.
You were once a different person. Think about what you were like. Then realize that you’ve changed. You know why you've change but how do you express this in words? Since we are all unique only you can come up with the right answer. An answer that feels so good to you that you want to be sure that everyone knows it. Because you are proud to have become a Working Mom.